Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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