woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
