super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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