She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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