i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
