so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
