I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
someone owes me an orgasm
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
