Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I forget how to act sober
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