If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
