I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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