i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
