READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
