who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
