oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well I just put wine in my tea
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
