No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you will always have a special place in my vag
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize