i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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