You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
