I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
