He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
