So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
