dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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