and she was petting her beer can
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
