we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Four minutes until I can fart!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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