Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
