like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
