So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
