At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
