Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is my gift to your gina
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
