Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
