It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
