i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
