Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
