Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize