he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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