Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
