I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
