low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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