3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
