Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
