Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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