woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
