How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
