bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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