office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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