cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
