Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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