I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
