"it" just moved
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
