I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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