I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
