Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Someone came in the potted fern
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
