I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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