so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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