I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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