Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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