4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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