We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
