Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
