omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
