If i come over, it means nothing
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
